My fitness Story

My Story

I just wanted to reach out to all of you and let you know why I finally decided to create this blog. Fitness is my passion. Always has been, always will be. However, my relationship with fitness has not always been an easy one. It has had its ups and definitely its downs. My love for fitness started about my junior year in high school. I started to realize I can not just eat whatever I want and stay in shape. My life has always been consumed with soccer, which has always kept me in shape. However, starting junior year the scale started to creep up. So what did I do? I FREAKED OUT. This is when my relationship with fitness took a slightly downhill turn. I started working out like crazy. Went for runs before and after soccer practice, was eating WAY too few calories (aka rice cakes for lunch), and counted every single calorie. This lasted for a while because I was determined to get into fitness modeling. I thought I had to look like what I thought was "perfect" for the IMTA convention in LA. It was an amazing experience and I was able to get some small modeling gigs out of it. Eventually though, I fell out of the fitness modeling aspiration and started eating normal again as my soccer career started getting more serious. Shocker... as I started eating normal again, the weight creeped back on. I started to freak out once again. I then realized that I had a soccer scholarship to a Division I school. Realistically, I would have to carry some weight so I can keep up with those "bulky soccer legs" girls.

Once I got to college and started lifting weights like I had never done before, the weight really creeped on, the clothes started fitting differently, and I was the heaviest I have ever been. That did not put me in a happy place. I cried constantly on the phone to my mom. I became depressed about soccer and my body changes. So what did I do the following year? I QUIT. I quit on my self and all I had worked for, I quit on my family, I quit on my teammates. For those of you who know me, this is NOT in my character. Anyways, my sophomore year I transferred to Ole Miss.. HOTTY TODDY!!! I thought I wanted to just be a "normal student."  My first semester there I was once again back in that place of working my butt off with endless hours of cardio, counting every calorie, and lost all the weight I had gained from soccer and eating my freshman year. Once again not a good place. I was so absorbed with every calorie eaten, that it began to affect my every thought.

The following spring semester I tried out for the Ole Miss Soccer team. I realized that I did not want to allow myself to be considered a quitter. I made the team!! After getting back into soccer, of course, I gained all that weight back because I was back to lifting HEAVY weights and eating a lot of protein. Constantly gaining and losing weight continued throughout the rest of my college years.

NOW, I have just recently graduated from Ole Miss. I think I am in the best place I have been yet with my relationship with fitness. I am just living. I tell you all this because it wasn't until now that I have accepted the fact that I will never have twig legs (forever a soccer girl :) ), I will always have a butt (family genes), I am not a model, and I am not a body builder. I am okay with that. I tell you all this because I am you. I was once that yo yo dieter. I was once always wanting to be that other "perfect" girl in the gym. I was once SO incredibly hard on myself when it came to having a "fit body." I did not have a good relationship with food. I have realized I am human. I am not perfect. Who is perfect?! I have just decided to live a healthy lifestyle and let the rest take care of itself. Yes I "splurge," but I don't call it splurging anymore. I call it living. I love my wine and chocolate, so I now just have it in moderation without the guilt I once had. My advice to you is just live a healthy lifestyle and the changes to your body will happen right before your eyes. I can honestly say I am stronger and more confident in the gym now. This is all thanks to my healthy relationship with fitness and food!!!